Night Danger

“Jeff, check the bus for a shovel.â€
“Dude, I think he’s still alive.â€
“No shovel.â€
“I’m a horrible person and deserve to die. I’m a horrible person and deserve to die. I’m a horrible person…â€
“Gary, shut up. I can’t think with you mumbling like that.â€
“I killed him.â€
“Dude, I think he’s still alive.â€
“Should we call the police?â€
“And tell them what?â€
“That we hit a…â€
“What were you smoking, man? We can’t call the police. It’ll be all over the news tomorrow. We’ll be ruined.â€
“I don’t know, some bands benefit from this kind of publicity.â€
“I don’t think we will. We’re a god-damned new aged punk band. Our fans are environmentalists and the offspring of tree-hugging hippies. They’re not very open-minded about this kind of shit.â€
“I’m a horrible person and deserve to die. I’m a…â€
“Will somebody shut him up, I’m trying to think.â€
“Gary, why don’t you go sit in the bus. We’ll take care of this…someone should tell him he’s a drummer, not a princess.â€
“We’ll just have to bury the body.â€
“No shovel.â€
“Dude, I think he’s still alive.â€
“He won’t be for long, Mark.â€
“Dude, that’s harsh.â€
“It’s nature, Mark. You get hit by a bus, you die.â€
“I told you we shouldn’t drive a…â€
“A hybrid wouldn’t solve this problem, Jeff.â€
“Right. Good point. Should we get him off the road?â€
“Yeah. Let’s get him in the ditch before somebody comes.â€
“Okay. How do we do this?â€
“Grab the antlers, I guess.â€
“Dude, I think he’s still alive.â€
“We have to get him off the road.â€
“But it’ll hurt him to pull on his antlers.â€
“Look at him, Mark. I think his antlers will be the least of his problems right now.â€
“Mark, I think he’s right. We should get him off the road.â€
“Jeff, give me a hand.â€
“How long until the concert starts?â€
“Two hours. We got to hurry if we want to start on time.â€
“Could we start the show with Vegan Girl in Leather?â€
“That’s our signature song. People might leave if we don’t save it for last. People come to see Night Danger just to hear Vegan Girl.â€
“I know, but…guh…this guy’s heavier than he looks…maybe they would enjoy everything else if they got that song out of their systems.â€
“Maybe when we get…argh…that should do it…a few more songs out we could, but right now it’s our only hit. Mark, can you see it from up there?â€
“No. Is he still alive?â€
“No.â€
“It’s still breathing.â€
“It won’t be for long and he won’t leave until he thinks it’s dead.â€
“My lips are sealed.â€
“Thanks. Maybe we could try doing Vegan Girl in the middle of the set.â€
“Thanks. How are your hands? Are you going to be able to play tonight? Those antlers ripped mine up something good.â€
“They’re sore, but I’ll still be able to play.â€
“Good. What about Gary?â€
“Let’s go check.â€
“Gary, are you going to be able to play tonight?â€
“We just passed that sign. I should have slowed down. It’s still a baby yet.â€
“Nah, it had a few years in it…and a few hundred pounds on it.â€
“Could be a baby, actually. A bigger one would have done more damage to the bus.â€
“Dude, it has antlers.â€
“When do they get antlers?â€
“Aren’t they born with them?â€
“Dude, I don’t want to think about that.â€
“We should bury it.â€
“Dude, are you sure he’s not still alive?â€
“No shovel.â€
“Yes, I’m sure.â€
“We should leave it there so the other animals have food. Circle of life, man, circle of life.â€
“But we should do something. He’s dead because of me.â€
“We could have our picture taken under the moose crossing sign for our next album cover. It’ll be a warning for all of our fans out there driving.â€
“Doesn’t hurt that the sign also has our band name printed on it.â€
“Dude, that’s awesome. You’re a genius. Are you sure he’s not still alive?â€
“Yes, I’m sure, Mark. I know the difference between breathing and not breathing.â€